5 Rules to Live By When Building a Lasting Client Partnership

Good client relationships are crucial to sustaining a lucrative law practice.

That's why learning how to nurture a new client partnership is WORTH YOUR TIME AND COMMITMENT!

Focus on these five rules for building - and maintaining - a healthy relationship.

1. Say "we."

The word we fosters togetherness.

It makes the listening client feel connected to you. It also gives a subconscious feeling of "you and me against the cold, cold world."

2. Use "you" liberally.

Begin every appropriate sentence with "you."

It will immediately grab your client's attention, and they will often respond positively because you have pushed their pride button.

Think, comm-YOU-nicate!

3. Don't touch a cliche with a ten-foot pole.

Clients cringe at cliches. Trite, over-worn phrases shout lack of imagination.

So, if you are feeling fit as a fiddle, happy as a lark, or high as a kite, just remember that using common cliches around uncommonly successful people brands you as UNCOMMONLY COMMON.

Roll out some clever phrases instead!

4. Pause before you speak.

Silence - the pregnant pause, the white space of conversation - works!

Silence brings the words around it into high relief. It suggests those words matter, making them effective and memorable.

It's hard to resist talking enthusiastically and often, but that makes you appear too eager and too inclined not to listen.

5. Don't use a naked "thank you."

People use the bare, curt "thank you" so often that it becomes a throw away.

Don't let the words "thank you" stand naked and alone. Always make it thank you for something.

For example: Thank you for being such a good client.

This practice will have positive effects. People will listen and appreciate your gratitude.

Bottom line: SINCERITY and INCLUSION are the threshold characteristics of effective relationship building.

Some Reasons Why You Can't Accept Praise

Women lawyers listen up!

Are you quick to fend off flattery no matter who it comes from?

You may be what experts call a "compliment-carper;" you simply can not accept kind words.

There are number of reasons why. According to body image expert Leslie Goldman, MPH, many women are taught that they should be modest and humble. They are worried that accepting praised could make them appear arrogant. "So, we downplay out strengths and accentuate our weaknesses," says Goldman.

Does this sound like something you do often?

You are definitely not alone. Many women simply believe kudos is undeserved.

But wait. Before you continue living this way, consider this.

Research shows that being able to recognize your positive qualities and ACCEPT compliments can boost self-esteem. That means you should simply say "thank you" the next time a colleague admires your work!

So, stop beating yourself up and shooting down compliments. Receiving and ACCEPTING praise will do you a world of good.

Related articles:

Are You Difficult to Deal With?

Can You Be Trusted?

5 Ways to Build Business Rapport with People 

Do You and Your Staff Share the Same Vision?

Staff management is relatively easy compared to managing your relationships with staff.   But it is those relationships that directly impact your practice's efficiency and success.

Why?

Poor relationships lead to a disconnect around the office. Your staff members may show up for work, but they may not be invested in the firm's goals nor motivated to perform.

Gain a better sense of how solid your staff relationships are by asking yourself the following questions.

1. Do you share a vision?

Do you have a mission statement for your firm? How does your staff figure into this mission statement?

Don’t just have your mission statement hanging in the reception area. Make it the focus of your team meetings. Share stories that illustrate how your firm is living its mission statement.

A good leader inspires goal achievement!

2. Is working for your firm a career or job?

Don’t overlook that your staffers may feel that they  have invested great expenses of time, effort and tuition to become a paralegal or legal secretary. Look at your firm from your staff's perspective and become aware of what your staff hopes to accomplish professionally.

3. Are you approachable?

When things are tough or not going well, can staff talk to you?

Be sure to carve out time when you can be available to take questions from staff, or when they can simply deliver phone messages or documents to be reviewed.

4. How well do you delegate?

If you are prone to being a perfectionist and controlling, you likely have a difficult time delegating.

Leverage your staff!

Delegate according to your staff’s strengths. When delegating, give clear directions—including what your expectations are for the finished product, the interim and final deadlines, and the budgeted time allotment.

5. Do you give constructive feedback?

If you are unhappy with how something has been done, you need to let your staff know in a respectful manner. Do not criticize or correct staff in public. Praise publicly, correct privately. If you don’t address negative factors, you will find yourself growing resentful.

Motivation comes from being challenged and respected by our peers. It also comes from having the opportunity to be creative and the sense that, yes, we are making a difference!

And, guess what? Your staff is motivated the same way!

Consider their lives, the work they do for you, and your relationships with them. Once you do, you'll find that your firm is a lot happier -and more efficient- place to work.

Article adapted from Managing Your Relationships with Your Staff: Pointers for Getting it Right by Sheila M. Blackford.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

Lighting a Fire to Get Results!

Lead Your Office Out of the Doldrums!

3 Dangers of Dysfunctional Practice Groups

How a Simple Checklist can Improve Your Practice

How often do you dominate conversations with clients?

How well do you know your colleagues and the types of law they practice in order to cross-market?

And, more importantly, how do you think others perceive you?  Open-minded or opinionated?

Believe it or not, depending on your answers to these questions, your colleagues and clients may actually find you DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH.

Kick jargon and the ego aside, and think about how you can be more "user-friendly" to your colleagues and to people outside the legal field.

Here are some tips to help you kick some negative habits -and boost business!

1. Listen. Really listen.

It's no secret that lawyers make their living primarily through their use of language. They are often successful through the creation of winning arguments. Unfortunately, though, these verbal skills can have a detrimental effect on client relationships.  Lawyers have a tendency to talk more and listen less!

Break this habit by remembering to listen to your clients, your staff, and more importantly, friends and family. Resist the temptation to take over a discussion!

2. Open up around the office.

The best sources of business for any firm are current clients, but rarely does a lawyer from one area of practice know what his or her colleagues are doing at any given time. An internal newsletter, checklist, or intranet is a good way to track new clients or source information about the expertise of your colleagues.  It's hard to refer business to other lawyers in your firm if you don't know what kinds of cases they handle.

3. Step outside your comfort zone.

While preventing and mitigating risk is an important client skill, there are times when looking at new opportunities and venturing out is a good idea. If someone wants to talk with you about a new job, buying a business, making an investment, or even starting a new career, there's no need to nix an idea until you've explored the pros and cons. Be willing to step outside of your comfort zone. If you take some manageable risks, good things could happen.

4. Spend time with people outside the legal field.

Lawyers speak a unique and specialized language. But the average client or juror will not be impressed by your use of legal jargon. If you find yourself socializing only with your peers, you will find it harder and harder to make a positive impression on whom we sometimes refer to as "civilians". Remember that civilians will probably be the people who hire you.

5. Understand that diversity is a fact of life.

A recent Sunday New York Times article asking why so few women were becoming partners in law firms was the newspaper's most e-mailed article in the 24 hour period following its publication. Obviously people are interested.

If we know that problems are best solved with a diversity of viewpoints and perspectives, it only makes sense to have a diverse group of lawyers on board to assist in the process. Firms that are successful in creating a truly diverse work force will have a competitive advantage in hiring new recruits and in winning certain clients.

Article adapted from How to be More User-Friendly by Wendy L. Werner.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

5 Ways to Build Business Rapport with People

Words that Make or Break a Client Relationship

Can You Be Trusted?

Clients Gravitate to Great Listeners!

Learn How to Connect with People and Make them Feel INVOLVED!

When was the last time you deeply connected with someone?

It's not easy for many professionals to open up and let people into their lives, but building rapport can be extremely uplifting.

Connecting with people - really getting them to THINK, FEEL, and BE INVOLVED - is a communication skill that takes practice, even for seasoned attorneys.

Here are the top 5 ways to help you get in sync and start building relationships.

1. Ask good questions.

Whether you're trying to connect with someone in-person or online,  people love to talk about themselves. Asking questions, and paying attention to the answers, will help you learn more about the other person, and it will show that you have a genuine interest in them. The key, though, is in your follow-up. This is how they’ll know you are truly catching their details.

2. Use their names.

Add a personal touch to a conversation by sprinkling your listener's  name into the conversation. If you're online on Twitter, for example, if the person’s name is not part of his/her screen name, click on the person's profile and get his real name. This will send a powerful message that you CARE.

3. Stay positive.

Don't be a constant complainer or a "negative Nelly." People genuinely don't want to connect and engage people who whine. Be known for a positive attitude and willingness to help others, strangers included.

4. Learn the art of small talk.

Have a few conversation starters up your sleeve in case the conversation hits a lull. Always be looking for opportunities that connect you with others. Focus on similarities, not differences.

5. Learn from others.

Pay attention to those you admire who seem to easily connect and engage with others, particularly strangers. Whether it’s in person or online, observe the conversations, posts,and Tweets. How do they break the ice?  How do people respond to them? Try to replicate their style of building rapport and see if it works for you too!

When the magic of building rapport happens - it will happen fast.You'll will feel at ease and have a genuine sense of trust and respect. More importantly, you will FEEL like listening and being listened to.

That's rapport.

Adapted from article 10 Ways to Build Rapport with People by Susan Young.

There's nothing worse than the sense of panic that sets in when business slows down.

We scurry to ramp up marketing efforts and drum up more business.

Sometimes our efforts are successful.

Sometimes not.

If this sounds familiar, attorneys Mark Powers and Shawn McNails have some sage advice: Try harder to  START BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS!

At their firm, lawyers practice "Five Rainmaking Habits,"  which are centered around clients, referrals and overall relationship development

Powers and McNails maintain that these habits have the power to significantly leverage any marketing campaign and could result in a steady stream of business.

While the ebb and flow of business is natural, you DESERVE a greater sense of control over your practice.

Start by going back to the basics and learning the habits, or skills,  that will propel your career - and your relationships.  CHECK OUT THIS EXCELLENT ARTICLE!

Do you ever get the feeling that people just DON’T TRUST YOU?

Have you lost support from colleagues around the firm?

If so, it’s time to reflect on what you are doing to hurt your personal credibility.

Ask yourself - How many of these CREDIBILITY BUSTERS am I guilty of?

• You’re a frequent teller of little white lies.

Sure, white lies may seem harmless – but get caught by a client or colleague and your credibility is busted. When you lose someone’s trust, you can never get it back.

• You make the same excuses.

You can destroy your personal credibility by offering the same excuse to the same people – even if they’re legit.

• You are not a flexible problem solver.

It’s okay to follow policies and enforce them however it’s not okay for you to only rely on the rules. Be flexible enough to help others solve problems.

• You come across as a “know it all” even when you’re just thinking out loud.

Introverted people may be put off by your tendency to express yourself verbally when you’re thinking. Always preface this action by telling people what you are doing.

• You put others down to pull yourself up.

Each "put down" will not only bust your credibility – it’ll cost you friends.

People trust positive people, not “sour grapes."

• You do everything yourself - but tend do it half-heartedly.

It’s understandable that you don’t want to let anyone down, but when you take on too much – one of your commitments is bound to suffer.

It’s far better to say no to some things than do a poor job at everything.

• You keep your staff in the dark.

Take a moment to get your staff’s input on a potential project and let them know your thought process. These steps will enhance your credibility as a leader.

• You frequently break or reschedule appointments.

As general rule, trust is broken after two or more appointments are broken or rescheduled. Make an appointment - and keep it.

Make a point to affirm your credibility among your clients and colleagues - and SAVE your legal career from ruin.

Adapted from: Credibility Busters That Could Ruin Your Career by Sandy Allegier, American Management Association.