Learn How to Connect with People and Make them Feel INVOLVED!
When was the last time you deeply connected with someone?
It's not easy for many professionals to open up and let people into their lives, but building rapport can be extremely uplifting.
Connecting with people - really getting them to THINK, FEEL, and BE INVOLVED - is a communication skill that takes practice, even for seasoned attorneys.
Here are the top 5 ways to help you get in sync and start building relationships.
1. Ask good questions.
Whether you're trying to connect with someone in-person or online, people love to talk about themselves. Asking questions, and paying attention to the answers, will help you learn more about the other person, and it will show that you have a genuine interest in them. The key, though, is in your follow-up. This is how they’ll know you are truly catching their details.
2. Use their names.
Add a personal touch to a conversation by sprinkling your listener's name into the conversation. If you're online on Twitter, for example, if the person’s name is not part of his/her screen name, click on the person's profile and get his real name. This will send a powerful message that you CARE.
3. Stay positive.
Don't be a constant complainer or a "negative Nelly." People genuinely don't want to connect and engage people who whine. Be known for a positive attitude and willingness to help others, strangers included.
4. Learn the art of small talk.
Have a few conversation starters up your sleeve in case the conversation hits a lull. Always be looking for opportunities that connect you with others. Focus on similarities, not differences.
5. Learn from others.
Pay attention to those you admire who seem to easily connect and engage with others, particularly strangers. Whether it’s in person or online, observe the conversations, posts,and Tweets. How do they break the ice? How do people respond to them? Try to replicate their style of building rapport and see if it works for you too!
When the magic of building rapport happens - it will happen fast.You'll will feel at ease and have a genuine sense of trust and respect. More importantly, you will FEEL like listening and being listened to.
That's rapport.
Adapted from article 10 Ways to Build Rapport with People by Susan Young.
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There's nothing worse than the sense of panic that sets in when business slows down.
We scurry to ramp up marketing efforts and drum up more business.
Sometimes our efforts are successful.
Sometimes not.
If this sounds familiar, attorneys Mark Powers and Shawn McNails have some sage advice: Try harder to START BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS!
At their firm, lawyers practice "Five Rainmaking Habits," which are centered around clients, referrals and overall relationship development
Powers and McNails maintain that these habits have the power to significantly leverage any marketing campaign and could result in a steady stream of business.
While the ebb and flow of business is natural, you DESERVE a greater sense of control over your practice.
Start by going back to the basics and learning the habits, or skills, that will propel your career - and your relationships. CHECK OUT THIS EXCELLENT ARTICLE!
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Good client relationships are crucial to sustaining a lucrative law practice.
That's why learning how to nurture a new client partnership is WORTH YOUR TIME AND COMMITMENT!
Focus on these five rules for building - and maintaining - a healthy relationship.
1. Say "we."
The word we fosters togetherness.
It makes the listening client feel connected to you. It also gives a subconscious feeling of "you and me against the cold, cold world."
2. Use "you" liberally.
Begin every appropriate sentence with "you."
It will immediately grab your client's attention, and they will often respond positively because you have pushed their pride button.
Think, comm-YOU-nicate!
3. Don't touch a cliche with a ten-foot pole.
Clients cringe at cliches. Trite, over-worn phrases shout lack of imagination.
So, if you are feeling fit as a fiddle, happy as a lark, or high as a kite, just remember that using common cliches around uncommonly successful people brands you as UNCOMMONLY COMMON.
Roll out some clever phrases instead!
4. Pause before you speak.
Silence - the pregnant pause, the white space of conversation - works!
Silence brings the words around it into high relief. It suggests those words matter, making them effective and memorable.
It's hard to resist talking enthusiastically and often, but that makes you appear too eager and too inclined not to listen.
5. Don't use a naked "thank you."
People use the bare, curt "thank you" so often that it becomes a throw away.
Don't let the words "thank you" stand naked and alone. Always make it thank you for something.
For example: Thank you for being such a good client.
This practice will have positive effects. People will listen and appreciate your gratitude.
Bottom line: SINCERITY and INCLUSION are the threshold characteristics of effective relationship building.
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Do you ever get the feeling that people just DON’T TRUST YOU?
Have you lost support from colleagues around the firm?
If so, it’s time to reflect on what you are doing to hurt your personal credibility.
Ask yourself - How many of these CREDIBILITY BUSTERS am I guilty of?
- You’re a frequent teller of little white lies.
Sure, white lies may seem harmless – but get caught by a client or colleague and your credibility is busted. When you lose someone’s trust, you can never get it back.
- You make the same excuses.
You can destroy your personal credibility by offering the same excuse to the same people – even if they’re legit.
- You are not a flexible problem solver.
It’s okay to follow policies and enforce them however it’s not okay for you to only rely on the rules. Be flexible enough to help others solve problems.
- You come across as a “know it all” even when you’re just thinking out loud.
Introverted people may be put off by your tendency to express yourself verbally when you’re thinking. Always preface this action by telling people what you are doing.
- You put others down to pull yourself up.
Each "put down" will not only bust your credibility – it’ll cost you friends.
People trust positive people, not “sour grapes."
- You do everything yourself - but tend do it half-heartedly.
It’s understandable that you don’t want to let anyone down, but when you take on too much – one of your commitments is bound to suffer.
It’s far better to say no to some things than do a poor job at everything.
- You keep your staff in the dark.
Take a moment to get your staff’s input on a potential project and let them know your thought process. These steps will enhance your credibility as a leader.
- You frequently break or reschedule appointments.
As general rule, trust is broken after two or more appointments are broken or rescheduled. Make an appointment - and keep it.
Make a point to affirm your credibility among your clients and colleagues - and SAVE your legal career from ruin.
Adapted from: Credibility Busters That Could Ruin Your Career by Sandy Allegier, American Management Association.
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