You probably have a lot of  parties to attend during the next few weeks.

You want to be the life of the party and really let your hair down.

But wait - stop right there!

Throw your visions of spiked egg nog and dancing on tables out the window.

Office holiday parties can tarnish your brand if you let the liquor flow too freely or forget that professionalism never stops mattering.

Have fun, but  please don't end up wearing the lampshade!

Miss Manners herself, Emily Post, offers this etiquette advice for all holiday party goers.

1. Limit drinking.

Sure, it's okay to have a glass of wine - but don't have 5 or 6.

People who drink too much at office parties take the risk of seriously harming their professional careers. Stay in control and limit your drinking.

2. Be prepared for small talk.

If the thought of party small talk makes you sweat, don't panic.

Simply think before you speak.  Have a list of potential talking points in mind that will help you get a conversation going. Try to avoid yes or no questions.

"What are your plans for the holidays?" will generate a more detailed response than "Are you traveling for the holidays?"

And remember, the wallflower near the buffet is probably looking for a conversation just as much as you are.

3. Don't forget about your spouse.

Often, spouses and significant others are invited to holiday parties, too. Give them a heads up on bosses and colleagues who are likely to be there.

At the party, don't ditch them. Make them feel included and comfortable.

Also, make sure you introduce them to your important workplace family.

4. Thank your host.

Always be a gracious guest by thanking the host of the party, as well as any of the people who worked to plan the event.

A verbal thank you is sufficient, so is an email. A hand-written note, however, will make you stand out and it will convey a deeper level of warmth and sincerity.

So go ahead, relax a bit this holiday season.

But be sure to do it with your best foot forward and ALWAYS keep manners in mind.

Related articles:

4 Things You Should Know about Office Gossip

Office Faux Pas that Could Jeopardize Your Career

Good Manners, Good for Business

Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Business

Where do Some Women Fall Short?

This is a touchy subject for many, but it's important. Women often feel as if they've hit the proverbial glass ceiling. They come so far in their education and careers, only to stall out.

Sometimes the reason for this is circumstantial. Other times, it's little mistakes along the way that have come back to hurt them.

Here are some of the biggest mistakes some women make in business:

• Avoiding politics at work. Not all politics are bad. Influence should be used. Power should be used, gaining resources is key.
• Pinching pennies, and not taking risks. Women who do this are often viewed as dealing in minutia.
• Polling to make a decisions. Collaboration is good, but competing is RESPECTED!
• Needing to be liked.
• Acting too much like a man. This becomes obvious to others that a woman is trying too hard.
• Sharing too much personal information. Example:  "I have to leave early to attend my daughter’s parent/teacher conference.” It's better to say, “I am leaving early. See you tomorrow.”
• Ignoring networking relationships. There is a direct correlation to women’s advancement and her having strong male mentors.
• Never saying no.
• Having a limp handshake. This makes a bad first impression. Perception of warmth in handshake translates to trust and likability.

And, here's one final interesting statistic. While it has nothing to do with mistakes that women make, it speaks volumes about our society and our perception of others.

According to Prof. Tracey Rockett of the University of Texas at Dallas, the greatest predictor for poverty is lack of education for men and having a child for women.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

Lawyer Networking Tips for Introverts

Successful Women Rainmakers Excel in Communication

Are You Difficult to Deal With?

Do Mom Lawyers Spread Themselves too Thin?

If you want to ingratiate to get ahead, here's how. 

Advancing your career takes smarts and  know-how, but another way to effectively get to the top, according to a university study,  is by offering up some good old-fashion flattering.

Effective flattering - not just brown-nosing - really can boost your career. But, you have to know how to do it - and do it well.

Two business school professors - Ithai Stern of Northwestern University's Kellogg School of Management and James Westphal of the University of Michigan - have some insights on flattery. For the last few years, they have studied how professionals gained coveted seats on corporate boards. And guess what? Flattering got them there! Stern and Westphal concluded "that ingratiating behavior was the strongest single predictive factor for obtaining board appointments."

Following the study, the Kellogg School came out with a synopsis called "Corporate Sweet Talk", which includes the following ways to effectively win over colleagues and partners alike.  This is what the AUTHORS recommend about flattery.   If these techniques don't appeal to you, please don't shoot the messenger....me!

1. Act as though you're seeking advice. Example: “How were you able to close that deal so successfully?” Mentoring is popular — so let partner think that he or she can teach you something.

2. Argue a bit about his or her opinion or approach. Do not agree immediately. Remember, lawyers love a good argument — especially if they think they've won.

3. Tell the colleague's friends or family how much you adore/admire her. Hope that word about your praise ultimately gets back to the colleague.

4. Flatter by pretending that you're actually a reluctant flatterer. Example: “I don’t want to embarrass you, but your presentation was really top-notch. Better than most I’ve seen.”

5. Agree with the colleague's values before agreeing with his or her opinions. The goal is to convey how you both share the same vision.

6. Tell people in the colleague’s social network that you really share those values. Again, you are counting on word getting back to the colleague.

7. Finally, hint that you are part of the same circle, such as a religious organization or political party.

Is effective flattering a form of sucking up?

Sure - and, according to Stern and Westfal, that's okay, just as long as the behavior is carried out tastefully, subtly, and professionally.

The next time you're out networking or at a company gathering, effective sweet talk is one way you can work the room. Ingratiating behavior is a form of interpersonal communication that's not everybody's choice, but it has proven itself as one way to build business relationships.

Adapted from article Give 'Em Lip Service by Vivia Chen.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

4 Things You Should Know about Office Gossip

Office Faux Pas that Could Jeopardize Your Career

Good Manners, Good for Business

4 Tips for Better Happiness at the Office

Thanksgiving has come and gone, now you're probably looking at the calendar and thinking about a big business holiday party coming up. While this type of affair is fun, it can also be a minefield for professionals to navigate.

Don't let your behavior - or other people - ruin the party! Enjoy and even make it work for you by following these holiday party etiquette tips.

1. Make a point to be attend - even if you'd rather not, or have other plans.

Make an appearance at an important business holiday party. You are not obligated to stay all evening, but your absence will be noticed.

2. It's a business function, so act accordingly.

Yes, it is an opportunity to socialize with colleagues in a casual setting, but be careful to be friendly but not too familiar with those at the party, especially superiors, and always to act with courtesy and respect.

3. Know the guest policy.

Don't assume that it's okay to bring a spouse or date. Often these parties are for employees only, so be sure to check ahead of time.

4. Dress appropriately.

A business holiday party is not the place to show off your newest club outfit. Opt for a more dignified, low-key look so that you will be remembered for your good taste not your revealing attire. When in doubt, ask someone whose judgment you trust what is appropriate dress - or, check with your host.

5. Be a gracious guest.

Be sure to greet and thank your host or the individual responsible for planning the party. Chat briefly (you can't go wrong with a compliment about some aspect of the party, such as the food, the band, or the décor) and then move on.

6. Don't over-indulge!

Enjoy the food and drink, but don't over do it. Limit your intake of alcohol and don't pile your plate with excess amounts of the most expensive items on the buffet - other guests will notice and not in a positive way.

Also, have a back-up plan in case, despite your best efforts, you find that you have had too much to drink. Arrange for a designated driver, call a cab or reserve a room at a nearby hotel.

7. Mingle and network.

Take the opportunity to chat with as many of your colleagues as you can and introduce yourself to some coworkers that you don't know well. An office holiday party can be a good opportunity to strengthen existing business relationships or to initiate new ones by means of networking.

8. Limit business talk.

When you are socializing with business colleagues it can be difficult  not to talk shop, but try to keep business talk to a minimum. Instead, look at the office holiday party as an opportunity to get to know your coworkers on a personal level. Keep the conversation upbeat and stick with safe topics like travel, kids, local sports, and movies.

9. Don't gossip.

Some of your colleagues may enjoy gossiping about coworkers, especially as the evening wears on and a little too much alcohol loosens tongues. Don't join in. You'll regret it in the morning. The same goes for griping about your job or bragging about your business triumphs.

10. Have fun!

An office business party is meant to be fun, so relax and enjoy yourself.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

Right and Wrong Ways to Work a Room

Don't Be a Networking Misfit!

The Painless Way to Network

10 Common Networking Mistakes

3 Ways to Pump Up the Volume When Speaking to Your Target Audience

All of the us know about the value of professional presence. We want to look and dress the part every day in order to keep our brands strong and thriving. But, have you ever sat down and thought about how you SOUND? Does your voice hold a candle to your professional appearance?

Certain attributes, like...

• Mumbling
• Whispering
• Speed talking
• A shrill or nasal-sounding voice
• Unusual speech patterns
• A weird laugh

... can impair the power of your voice! What's more, they can take away from a voice's tone, pitch, and pace - all of which count for up to 20% of speech's effectiveness.

Develop a voice of confidence!

Learn how to modulate your voice to make what you say sound more interesting. Here are three ways to get started.

1. LISTEN to yourself.

Real aloud to a tape recorder and play it back. How did you sound? If you think you weren't great, then consider sharing it with friends and colleagues who will give you thoughtful, honest advice on how to improve.

2. Evaluate yourself as a STORYTELLER.

Record yourself in a short conversation with a friend. Listen for ums, ers, and other hesitations. Also, listen for word tics and words that you overuse. Does enthusiasm come across in your voice?

3. Speak with a SMILE.

Believe it or not, when you smile while answering the phone, your smile will glow right through the lines. If you're smiling, you'll sound as if you couldn't be more delighted to be speaking to the other person. An up-beat, happy voice communicates confidence, personal comfort, and a positive outlook.

You may not be able to carry a tune, but you can learn how to give yourself a POWERFUL VOICE. Even just simple, small adjustments in your usual speech can have a profound effect on your presentation.

More resources from Top Lawyer Coach:

Confidence: The Key to Brand Success

Develop a Dynamite Personal Branding Message

Office Faux Pas that Could Jeopardize Your Career

Good Manners, Good for Business

The Effects of Workplace Gossip are Almost Always Negative!

Office gossip. It's as common as a cup of coffee. And, almost everyone of us has taken part in it at some point or another.

Some people would argue that workplace gossip is an excellent bonding opportunity; a chance for co-workers to come together on a casual level to discuss, well, gossip.

Whether it's cruel and catty or just plain benign, the effects of gossip in any form are almost always NEGATIVE!

That said, if you can't resist sharing the news about a colleague's latest gaff or escapade, here are some things to keep in mind about gossiping at work.

1. Weigh the consequences.

Ask yourself if what you're saying can hurt someone's career?

If a colleague has committed a serious violation of company policy, then it may be better to go to HR or talk to a partner than to talk about it with your coworkers.

2. Choose your discussions wisely.

Let's face the facts. A zero-tolerance gossip policy is just unrealistic. Everyone is bound to share a little gossip now and then, but the key is to choose what you discuss wisely. Keep your topics light and upbeat.

Be sure to also keep in mind that if you want to get promoted, you need to be seen as trustworthy. If you can't keep your coworkers' secrets, then can you keep company secrets?

3. Assume your gossip will spread like wildfire.

Very few people can keep a secret, and, once those words are out of your mouth, you can't take them back. Even worse, those words might change as they are passed from person to person, and you might not recognize what you said once it gets back to you.

4. Don't put it in writing!

Do not spread gossip via email. And, more importantly, if you are upset at a co-worker, no matter how legitimate the reason, do not vent over e-mail or instant messenger. Smart firms monitor all correspondence, and you don't want a partner coming to you with a printed e-mail containing ugly words.

Of course, if you're in doubt about gossiping at the office - AVOID IT!

Gossip is never helpful. It's never flattering. And, it never reflects well on you.

Take the high road and keep it professional at work!

Simple Adjustments Make a World of Difference

There's nothing like unhappy, brooding co-workers.

They exude negative energy and tend to suck the life out of an otherwise happy, healthy office environment.

Are you one of those people?

If so, TURN YOUR ATTITUDE AROUND!

Here are five ways you can adjust your professional life to become a happier person.

1.  Become a mentor.

Chances are you had a mentor in law school, now it's your turn!

Think of the problems you'll help solve, the advice you'll give, and the new relationships you'll grow. Recognize the value in becoming a mentor and the people who'll really appreciate having you at their side.

2. Propose a special project.

Give yourself an opportunity to shine by proposing a special project.

Love to talk with people? Offer to create a collection of tips on how-to-succeed-at-networking derived from interviewing colleagues around the firm.

A project like this will make you build stronger relationships with your coworkers.

3. Make your workspace feel more like home.

If you can't work from home in a virtual law office, bring some creature comforts of home to work!

Put an oriental rug under your desk or a small copy of your favorite painting on your cubical wall. Little things go a long way. Just make sure your personal touches aren't too distracting.

4. Practice some common stress busters.

Stress can weigh heavy and be the source of negative energy.

Take a few moments throughout the day to relax.  Consider cardio exercise, meditation or attending a yoga class after work.

You'll be surprised at how energized you'll feel after a strenuous work out or deep breathing and yoga stretches.

Happiness at work is not about keeping the break room stocked with donuts.

It's a mindset.

Simple adjustments around the office will go a long way in making your workday more fulfilling!

Adapted from article Seven Ways to Be Happier at Work by Kiplinger.com.

BIG Job Mistakes that May Land New Grads in HOT WATER

It's that time of year. A time when young men and women say goodbye to grueling law school and enter, in some cases, an equally grueling workforce.

In a matter of months, law firms across the country - and the world - will welcome law school graduates with open arms. They'll be encouraged to hit the ground running, start networking, and a build a book of business.

Unfortunately, though, inexperience and good old-fashion cockiness will cause some first-year associates to make BIG blunders on the job.

Here are five first-time lawyer career mistakes to avoid.

1. Avoiding grunt work.

Law school grads almost always start at the bottom because that's where they learn how a firm works.

First-time lawyers must learn how to write the sort of memo a boss wants to read, how to navigate office personalities, how to simply get things done in an organization. Even if it's not the most glamorous work, first-time associates should pay attention to detail, follow instructions, and care about quality.

2. Not being thorough.

In law school, students are often expected to argue one point of view. At a law firm, associates are expected to consider all options thoroughly and make a recommendation that includes pros and cons.

3. Not seeking out a mentor.

Many powerful rainmakers - young and old - can safely say they owe a good deal of their success to their mentors. If students haven't found one in law school, they should seek one out immediately after graduation.

Instead of spending comfortable lunches with peers, first-time lawyers should try to get to know their older, more experienced colleagues. They have a wealth of knowledge to share and could help a new associate progress faster in the firm.

4.  Forgetting to say "thank you."

Courtesy - while sometimes ignored - goes a long way. People who feel appreciated are more likely to go out of their colleagues. They won't, however, if colleagues don't seem to care.

5. Not taking social networking seriously.

It's well known that one wrong post on a social networking site like Facebook can doom a career. New associates must keep their posts professional - always.

Law school graduates should remember that it's not what they do, but how they do their job that's important.

Strive to be the standout associate you set out to be!

Adapted from article 6 Mistakes New Grads Make in their First Jobs by Alison Green.

Don't Sell Yourself Short! Learn from these Resume Red Flags!

When you're on the job hunt, YOUR BEST WEAPON IS YOUR RESUME.

It must showcase the best of your experience, education, and expertise. It is, after all, what initially sells you to an employer.

But, one red flag could DOOM any chance of you landing a new job.

Here are eight big resume mistakes to avoid.

1. It lists an objective.

An objective can be a double-edged sword. It sounds sincere, yet it can limit your options.

Instead, let the cover letter do the talking. Explain in the letter why you want the particular job and why you're qualified.  Remember to show an interest in the specifics of the job. This will make you look more professional and focused.

2. It includes the words "duties" and "responsibilities."

When you are writing job descriptions, focus on your accomplishments, not what you had to do.

As an alternative to "duties" or "responsibilities," turn your tasks into achievements.

For example, instead of being "responsible for leading a practice group," consider "directed the practice group to beat their repeat client objective by 10%."

3. It contains spelling and grammatical errors.

We all know to avoid this one. It makes you look sloppy and negates the part of your resume that proudly describes you as "detail-oriented."

The best thing you can do for a resume is send it to a professional resume service or a professional editor.

4. It's written in full sentences.

Try to catch a skimming employer's eye and prove you are worth a second look. Your resume should be short and sweet and bulleted.

5. There are references.

References should always appear on a separate page, and should only be produced when asked for.

Also, be sure to delete the "References: Available Upon Request" line. It's understood that you will.

6. It's too flashy.

In an effort to make your resume stand out, you may find that it gets thrown out!

Don't use non-traditional symbols or fonts. Image files are not appealing either.

7. It includes a picture.

Including a self-portrait could exclude you for not being serious and may make you appear unprofessional. Let your skills and experience speak for you.

8. It lists an inappropriate email address.

Make the effort to have a professional email address. Keep it simple -- using only your name.

One more tip? Don't use your current work email unless you are self-employed.

Ease the stress of job hunting by polishing your resume.

Make it shine and soon an employer will take notice.

Adapted from article 10 Resume Red Flags by Erin Joyce.

Charm a Conference Crowd and Make Great Contacts!

Do you want to build your brand? How about grow your book of business?

Conferences, CLE's, and other speaking events are just the venues you need.

Receiving an invitation to speak at an industry gathering is a great way to ELEVATE YOUR PROFILE in the legal field. Share your knowledge, make great contacts - REALLY SHOW 'EM THAT YOU KNOW YOUR STUFF!

If you're ready to step up to a podium, here are the ten best ways to get a speaking gig at a conference or industry event.

1. Give yourself plenty of time to plan.

Program planning for many events and conferences begins up to a year in advance. Do NOT solicit a speaking engagement the same day registration opens! Seek out the events you’d like to attend well in advance, and reach out to the organizers.

When contacting organizers, do NOT pick up the phone! Use either the event organizer's web-based speaker proposal form, or communicate via e-mail.

2. Suggest how you are valuable.

Don't make event organizers find the fit.

When recommending yourself, tell organizers how and where you should go in the program. This will show that you cared enough to understand their program.

3. Have some social credibility.

Make sure you show up in Google. Your LinkedIn profile should be robust and your Twitter timeline full of relevant industry trends and topics. Conference organizers like to tap people who have some social credibility on the topic they want to present.

4. Write a great proposal.

You want to accurately portray what you’ll speak about, but also convey a sense of the personality and energy you’ll bring to it. Think of the session title as the compelling, intriguing headline, and liven up the description to include specific takeaways (what’s in it for the audience?) and lively language.

Warning: Don’t be boring!

5. Bring a client.

Some events prefer to use client-side speakers rather than vendors or consultants. One way around that is to invite a client or customer to present alongside you.

If you can't get the client to attend, try presenting a case study on their behalf. Doing so can greatly improve your chances to get the gig as well as build your credibility with the audience.

6. Start small.

If you aren’t getting any traction with the bigger events, approach smaller events: Local chamber events, networking breakfasts, association gatherings are all great places to start building your speaking resume.

7. Create a speaking page.

Dedicate a page on your Web site or blog to your public speaking efforts. Give an overview of who you are and what topics you regularly speak about. List where you’ve been and where you are going. Don't forget to include a photo!

8. Solicit  testimonials.

Ask for testimonials from conference organizers, association coordinators, or whomever you worked with on a specific event - then list the testimonials on your speaking page.

9. Include a video.

A video demonstrating your speaking skills is a nice touch. Seeing you in action gives conference organizers a clear picture of how you present.

Shoot yourself with a Flip video camera or similar.

10. Don't forget to keep in touch!

Think of a speaking gig as a business lead. You want to nurture it. Keep in touch with conference organizers, attend their events and meet them, and continue to offer yourself as a resource.

There's never been a better time to start leveraging conferences and speaking events.

After all, they are your opportunities to shine and to really show the industry what you're made of!

Adapted from article How to Get a Speaking Gig: 12 Ways to Charm Conference Organizers by Ann Handley.