By Martha M. Newman, J.D., PCC
Top Lawyer Coach LLC
Successful lawyers, regardless of what they lack—money, looks, or social connections—always radiate energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical clients find themselves enamored with these charming personalities. Those lawyers are the ones clients keep returning to for help, advice, and comfort.
So, it is worthwhile to ask these questions:
“What do they have that I don’t?”
“What makes those lawyers irresistible?”
The answer – Their sense of self-worth comes from within.
Irresistible people aren’t constantly searching for validation, because they’re confident enough to find it in themselves. Let’s look at the habits of irresistible people so that you can build those same habits into your business development and client relationships.
1.They Ditch the Small Talk.
There is no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach prospective clients with small talk, often their brains go on autopilot. The shallow conversation prevents them from having any real affinity for you.
Irresistible attorneys create connection and find depth even in short, every day conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what they are hearing to other important facets of the client’s life.
2. They Don’t Try Too Hard.
Irresistible lawyers don’t dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. They resist the urge to boast. The thought of bragging doesn’t even occur to them, because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to impress others.
3.They don’t think they are better.
Irresistible attorneys are unfailingly polite and respectful…to everyone. They don’t cherry pick whom to treat well. They understand that—no matter how nice they are to the client—it’s all for naught if the client witnesses them behaving badly to others such as court clerks, legal assistants, or administrative staff. Irresistible lawyers see everyone as worthy of respect, because they believe they’re no better than anyone else.
4.They get out of their own heads.
Lawyers whom clients find irresistible aren’t immersed in thoughts about themselves – how they are impressing a client, how well the client likes them or how they look. They spend little time thinking about themselves, because they are busy focusing outwardly on the client – on what the client is saying – not on what their own responses will be or what they need to do to appear intelligent. Clients easily pick up on the fact that they are the centers of attention…and that creates strong rapport which makes their lawyers irresistible.
To put this habit to work for you, practice selfless listening and bring your whole attention to what the client is saying. Instead of dispensing advice immediately, follow up on clients’ stories with open-ended questions that demonstrate your total concentration on what the clients have just said.
5.They walk the talk of integrity.
Lawyers with high integrity are irresistible because they put integrity into practice in demonstrative ways that clients discern. Those lawyers follow through every time; they avoid talking badly about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts. They walk the talk, and clients notice.
6.They use smiles strategically.
People naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language and expressions of the person to whom they are talking. If you want prospective clients to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations; nod your head; keep your folded hands on the table…and they will unconsciously relax and feel good as a result.
7.They Look Their Best (but don’t try too hard.)
There’s a massive gap between being presentable and being vain. Lawyers whom clients find irresistible know that making an effort to look their best is a sign of respect. But once they have dressed well and thereby project an aura of professionalism, they stop thinking about how they look and focus solely on making the client feel important and comforted.
Summing it up.
Irresistible lawyers do not have parents who dusted their baby cribs with charm dust! Through self-awareness and focused effort, they have instilled in themselves appealing qualities and habits that draw clients to them and inspire client loyalty.
Those lawyers purposely think about other people more than they think about themselves. They make their clients feel respected, valued and understood. So, keep in mind this axiom: The more you focus on others, the more irresistible you will be to your clients and the more successful you will be at business development.
Source: Forbes Magazine article-August 31, 2015 by Travis Bradbury, author of the bestselling book Emotional Intelligence 2.0.
Be successful in reigniting your business development this Spring – Here is how to kick off your marketing.
Email or call me if you want to receive 40 minutes of coaching, by phone or in person, at no charge and with no pressure to engage me.
Email me at Newman@TopLawyerCoach.com
Connect with Linkedin : www.linkedin.com/in/gainyourgoals